Day 060 – I don’t want it to always be like this

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Day 60 – May 16th

Another year has rolled around again, and with my birthday almost here, I sit here and wonder where a whole 12 months has gone, and wonder what I did with my time… and how the hell it made 12 months vanish in a flash!

This time last year I was about to turn forty, it was the last couple of days of my thirties, and I guess I was feeling a little reflective. My thirties had been far better to me that I had ever imagined, especially when I consider where I was, and what was happening when I actually turned thirty. It wasn’t a great place, I jumped into a job that I hated and was dating a girl who was totally not suited to me. She was a party girl who gave no thought to the future, and was all about pleasing herself, I didn’t even get a present for my thirtieth birthday. Forget surprise trips to Vegas or New York like some of my friends seemed to be enjoying, I just had to be grateful she’d bothered to get me a card, seriously!

Anyway, without going into too much detail about that, roughly about 18 months later I met my wonderful wife, who has changed my life in so many wonderful ways, and given me two beautiful girls. So as I sit here looking back on what has been, I can’t be too regretful for the choices I’ve made, as they’ve brought me here to where I am today.

My only real regret is that we don’t make enough time for each other at the moment. Its all part and parcel of being parents, the girls are young, and they come before everything else. They are our world and we both put them above ourselves and each other. We had no idea what being a parent would actually be like beforehand, regardless of what people told us, so this overwhelming love for our children that has made absolutely everything else less of a priority has kind of created an unwritten understanding between me and the wife, in that I am no longer her number one any more, and vice versa… the girls come first. We happily accept this, and know that one day they will become independent young ladies, and we will be left with little option but to turn the focus back to ourselves again.

It would be nice, however, to make sure that me and the wife still have a bit of time together, as a couple, to enjoy each others company. To remember what makes the other one smile, and enjoy all the reasons we got together in the first place. We just need to show a little more patience first, our time will come!

Moving onto todays photo, this particular evening I had invited over an old school friend, back from when I was at infant and junior school, so it has been a good few years since we not only knew each other, but actually last saw each other, up until we’d started meeting just before Christmas. She had enquired about photography training courses on facebook, and I replied that I had been thinking of putting some together. If she was willing to be my guinea pig, then I’d happily share my knowledge for free. We both got something out of it, and it was great to catch up too, especially as she wasn’t living far away. She may well be reading this, and I hope she doesn’t mind me using this photo for the day, it was only taken to demonstrate a lighting technique, but I think it turned out well!

Canon 50D – Canon 24-70mm @ 31mm – F/3.5 – ISO400 – 1/160s – Canon 430EX speedlite off-camera w/radio trigger

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I’d like to take a moment from my normal blog updates to recognise one person.

One special person who has made such a huge difference to my life, that words can’t even begin to describe how grateful I am, and how much they mean to me.

That is my wife, Clare. My rock.

She is such an amazing woman, and no one single incident has inspired this post, I just wanted to let her know how wonderful she is.

It comes as no secret to people reading this blog that I have started a new business from home. It takes a lot of time. At the end of the day, if I wanted instant cash, I would go out and find a part time job to fit around my full time job. This is not a part time job, it is a business. Some businesses take years before they see a profit, I am already seeing profit from mine, and although it is not life changing amounts of money, it is still profit, nonetheless! What I am currently doing is essentially sewing seeds for the future, where I will begin to reap the benefits in the coming weeks and months. It is fun, and a totally different way of thinking, but it still takes time. Do I have a wife who whinges and complains about that? Hell no! I have married an amazing woman who totally trusts and believes in me, even though we won’t see the real rewards just yet. She gives me the chance to do whatever I need to do in order to gain skills, make contacts and learn new things that are all going to help me to make this business successful in the future.

I just wanted to take a minute to thank her for that, and let her know that everything she does, from looking after our daughter when I am not there, to taking care of the house, getting dinners ready, to just supporting me and not raising a single objection, is truly and completely appreciated.

Thank you Clare, I love you!

So in summary, a good day. Cycling has been made especially pleasant thanks to the mild and dry weather we have been having, although I do need to start preparing for the autumn weather as I’m not geared up for wet weather at all, at the moment! I made sure I was home as early as possible to see my little girl as I would be going out before she went to bed, there was more home based training at my friends house, which sadly meant a bit of a drive and leaving the house before Olivia was in bed. Not ideal, but I have to make sacrifices somewhere, and its not exactly every night!