Day 040 – A life without dreams is like a garden without flowers


Day 40 – Apr 26th

Welcome back! Its nice to see people returning. It has me wondering, what is it that people come back for? Are you here for the daily photo, or are you feeling compelled to read my ramblings?
Well, Wednesday means hump day, the next weekend is now closer than the previous one, and Monday morning is almost a distant memory. We’re a step closer to a long weekend, but what to do with a bank holiday? The weather forecast isn’t looking great, but we should probably try and make a few plans anyway. It would be nice to get out somewhere that I could take some nice photos, somewhere a little scenic with the girls.

Todays photo was taken in the afternoon sun, outside the house, in fact just in my neigbours front garden. Bluebells seem to have spread like wildfire down our road in the last week or so, and even into our back garden. Such a pretty sight! I am really hoping we can go on a bluebell walk at some point, as we missed out last year.

On a totally unrelated issue, one thing happened to me today that caused me to stop and give some consideration. As I was browsing through facebook, which I often do several times a day, I was looking through my friends list, with the intention of having a bit if a clearout. Nothing significant, just a bit of spring cleaning, people I’d had little or no interactions with, when I came across someone on my friends list who had died in recent weeks. I was now faced with what is a fairly new moral dilemma, a sign of the times you could say, of trying to figure out what the correct etiquette is in this new, modern situation. The person in question happened to be a work colleague that had only added me as a friend a few weeks before he passed away, and although he seemed to be a pleasant chap, I can’t say I really knew him at all, or had even had a single conversation with him. I couldn’t even really say that we were actual friends, I only really accepted his friend request out of politeness, as he seemed fairly harmless and we’d seen each other around the place for long enough to know who each other was.

It was, of course, very sad when he passed away, it was very unexpected and the news came out of the blue, as a complete shock to everyone, and clearly a lot of the staff knew him a lot better than I did, he seemed to be quite a popular person. Of course, this doesn’t detract from the fact that we still barely knew each other. Instead of just ignoring this point and leaving it, the direct result of being connected via facebook was that I now kept getting daily posts from his bereaved family appearing on my page, expressing their sorrow. Yes, of course it was all very sad, but these are still posts from people I don’t know about someone (with all respect to him) that I barely knew at all.

Yet I still felt a pang of guilt when I hit the ‘unfriend’ button, but why? I had no reason to remain connected, it will serve no purpose, even though I still have other people on my friends list that have passed away, people I knew much better, but I don’t have the heart to unfriend them yet, even though it has been a few years. So what is the right thing to do in this situation? What would you do?

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About andrewvokes

Husband to my beautiful wife Clare, and father to two gorgeous girls. Cyclist, runner and photographer, living in Birmingham, UK.

Posted on April 27, 2017, in 365 project, Photography and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. If it was a dear friend, I can’t imagine I’d unfriend them. As it wasn’t, then I think you should perhaps leave it for a while if you’re unsure, then see how you feel. Always follow your instincts. You don’t have to do what anyone else feels is right – that includes both the following, and the unfollowing! I don’t suppose it will matter much now, either way. I’m sure he was glad to have your support while he was alive and that’s what counts.

    I ought to mention that I’ve only been on Facebook very briefly and didn’t friend anyone, so perhaps my advice might not be the best.

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