Day 018 – Good cop, bad dad?


Day 18 – Apr 4th

After a day at work, there is only one thing I think about, and that is getting home to see my girls. Its my little boost for the day. Its even nicer when I get to walk round to nursery to collect Olivia, as she is always so pleased to see me. Its something I haven’t got to do a lot of for a while, as I have been finishing work later, but recently I’ve started going into work earlier and doing my extra work before the day starts, enabling me to get home a little earlier. It makes no difference to work, as the jobs still get done, and if anything I am more productive in the morning, but it means I miss a bit of rush hour traffic in the morning and a bit of rush hour traffic in the afternoon. Plus I get a bit more quality time with the girls, as both of them seem to be sleeping in a bit longer in the mornings now… apart from Saturdays and Sundays, obviously!

One thing I don’t enjoy when I come home is having to put on my bad guy hat and raise my voice. I hate doing it, but sometimes it needs to happen. I try to limit its use, as its not very nice for either party, I don’t enjoy doing it, but also it reduces its effectiveness with each use. If they become used to hearing me shout all the time, it becomes normal and has less and less impact. Sometimes I need to stop naughty behaviour, and sometimes I need to stop downright dangerous behaviour. Clare is always on top of these things, but its not uncommon for children to keep testing limits until they literally freeze when that deep, booming voice stops them in their tracks. I have several stages of volume, from the low level, but stern “please stop that right now, and give me a chance to explain why I need you to stop” to the crash of thunder type voice that is needed shock and pause an activity to avert some kind of injury, which also inevitably ends up in tears.

Today was one of those days which needed a bit of a raised voice, and after having the pleasure of walking Olivia home from nursery, which I always enjoy, it wasn’t long before she started being a little silly (often a by-product of her being tired and worn out from a full day of activities at nursery) and I needed to put the brakes on it. She wasn’t happy, but we’d avoided tears at least.

One thing I really can’t stand is parents that shout all the time, often bawling at their children, sometimes even swearing at them, usually in shops or shopping malls, I think its just wrong, people around are not only watching and judging them, but the cause of the problem is rarely resolved this way. Olivia is thankfully so well behaved 95% of the time that she sometimes just needs talking through a situation, and often having a chat with her can make her realise the potential consequences of what she is doing or about to do, and a raised voice can be avoided altogether, and we have to remind ourselves what a kind and thoughtful little girl we actually have! Hopefully the other one will be just as kind and thoughtful when she’s a little older.

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2 thoughts on “Day 018 – Good cop, bad dad?

  1. As a parent, it hurts to see other parenta shouting at their kids. The memories those kids will remember and how they will affect them can be crucial. Kids really get cranky when tired and sleepy. I’ve somehow improved in this area. 🙂

    By the way, we have a Facebook group for photography and art bloggers. Feel free to join: 🙂
    BLOG ENGAGEMENT PROMOTION GROUP for Photography and Arts https://www.facebook.com/groups/273744742968768/

    Like

    • Thanks very much for your comment. I totally agree, its useful to have a voice that the girls listen to when they won’t pay attention to their mom, but I try to limit its use as I hate shouting, and repeated use will just limit its impact when I really need it. There are alternatives, and I try to use them when I can, but I’m human, and sometimes I don’t always get it right.

      Have sent request for your FB group.

      Liked by 1 person

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