Personal, Photography

The battle never ends

Here we are again on Sunday night, thinking about getting ready for the week ahead. Trying to make sure that we don’t end up in bed too late, as has become a life long habit for myself, to the point I have now made it a new years resolution for myself. I don’t always make resolutions each year, some years I don’t even think about it at all, but sometimes you have to make promises to yourself, and January 1st is when people always think about making these plans. I can’t even remember what previous resolutions I’ve made over the years, but I have given up with the typical “Must lose a stone” or “Must join a gym and go three times a week”. Quite honestly, and in fact only this morning on my weekend run with my friends Rob were we discussing it, I have come to accept that the weight battle is a life long one. As I head towards 40 like the Titanic heading towards the iceberg, I know that I am never going to shift all the weight I want to, hit my ideal weight and just stay there. Lets face facts, I just loooooove my food, no I mean really love it, and I can’t deny it, I am lazy, these two things don’t go well together. Yeah I know I exercise, I cycle to work, run and do my weekly jujitsu lessons, and I have the allotment with my friend Dave, but deep down I am lazy, all these things take a massive amount of will power on my part, in fact some weekends the only reason I run is because I am running with someone else. The thought of putting my feet up on a lazy Sunday afternoon and not going anywhere, with a pizza one side of me, and several beers on the other and just not moving makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, although this is never going to happen, not now anyway! But it is this fatal combination of loving my food far too much, and actually not moving enough to burn those calories off that has put me where I am now, which is needing to fight to get back to a weight where I am comfortable again. It might sound like I do a lot of exercise, but I have consumed far more than I needed to, especially leading up to christmas where I just become an eating machine! So with this battle going on and on like groundhog day, as I work hard to lose pound after pound until I shift that stone, only to then put it back on again five times faster (as I have done this year over christmas!), it seems pointless to make resolutions about losing weight and exercising. Sure, maybe I could just make a resolution about eating healthy, cutting out the fat and the snacking, and putting more salad on my plate… but then if you’re thinking that, you clearly don’t know me! I’m more likely to walk into Buckingham palace and talk the queen into washing my car, than I am to cut out some of my favourite foods! I’m not saying I am never going to be slim, not at all, I’m just saying that if I do get there eventually, it may not stay that way for very long! My weight is constantly yo-yoing, which I don’t necessarily think is a bad thing, as its a sign that weight is actually coming off, as for so many years previously there was no yo-yo, the weight was just going up and up and up. At least now I am doing something about it, and its a good job I enjoy all the cycling and the running that I do, as they really are the only reason I haven’t given in, continued to expand on the sofa and called in the tv cameras for a My Fat Life programme, as these sort of shows seem to be so popular at the moment! Anyway, I digress, that really wasn’t the point of this post, I’d originally started by saying that I desperately need to get into a new habit of going to bed a bit earlier. For as long as I can remember I have been a night owl, and I don’t even know when it started, its a terrible bad habit, so hard to break. Just lately I have forgotten all about the fact I’d made a resolution about this, and have been heading to bed later and later, although my daughter has reminded of the need to actually try and get my head down a bit earlier so that I have at least had a couple of hours sleep for when she inevitably wakes up in the middle of the night, as she has done for so many weeks now. I think we’ve gone through the worst of it, and we seem to have more nights where she is actually sleeping through again, although its still not every night yet, and I don’t think it will be for a while!

One thing I managed to do this weekend, was to try and keep us fairly commitment free so that we could do things impromptu and freestyle it a bit. We’ve been busy in recent weeks catching up with friends, and the wife made the request that we just don’t book anything in to see people in case we wanted to catch up with family or just head out for a walk, and so that’s exactly what we did. We had my mom and stepdad over along with one of my sisters and her other half on Saturday, I even got some free cans of monster out of it, they know me too well! Thanks to my sister and her boyfriend for those! They all spent the afternoon with us and disappeared before dinner time. I’d love to have had them stay for dinner, but we hadn’t shopped to feed six people and the chilli we’d planned to make would never have stretched that far with what we’d got! The chilli takes a while to cook, my secret recipe cannot be rushed, and because I had to wait for everyone to leave, I was late starting it, and so consequently we were late eating… but I am giving myself a solid 9 out of 10 for this one, it was absolutely delicious, even if I do say so myself!! Of course my cooking does drive the wife a bit mad, as I am one of those messy cooks, the kitchen looks like we’ve been broken into by the time I’ve finished, but my argument is that I am focused on the food, not the cleaning. I can clean when I have finished eating. You don’t walk into The Ivy in London and find the head chef with a wooden spoon in one hand and a dusting cloth in the other, do you!? I know she’ll be reading this and rolling her eyes, I’ll never convince her! Once dinner was finally devoured, it was time to head off to the local to meet a couple of friends for a couple of hours. I did come home from the pub and made the same mistake I make every single time, I totally failed to think the very plain and rational thought of “Right, that was a good night, lets get to bed”… oh nooo, as always my brain said to me “there’s a whole bottle of vodka in that kitchen, and lets face it you can’t drink it on a monday night now can you?! Go and pour yourself one, there’s bound to be something good on tv!”. It comes as little surprise that, like most nights when I go to the pub and come back and do this… I fell asleep in front of the tv yet again! Will I ever learn?? I am going to have to start leaving “don’t do it” post-it notes, before I go out, on anything that I may think about drinking when I get back! It was actually Olivia waking up that woke me up at 3am (see previous mention of getting to bed prior to Olivia getting up in the night!), and once she was settled I could finally get myself to bed, and try to get a few hours in before I was up again for my sunday morning run!

The sunday morning alarm sounded like a train crash ploughing through the house. In reality it was just my phone beeping, but I was not even feeling like getting up and going to the toilet, let alone running 10km around the reservoir in the cold! Still, that’s why I have a running partner, as I knew he’d be there waiting and there was no way I couldn’t go! I didn’t feel great at all, but knew that even though I’d been to the pub and also had a couple of drinks at home, that this wasn’t hangover aches and pains, this was pesky little person germs brought home from the nursery! Great for developing Olivia’s immune system before she hits school, but I could do without the aches and the sore throat and the stiff neck! We totally failed to hit our six mile mark and only managed 4.5 miles instead. Still not bad for a Sunday morning, and I am glad we did it, but you have to listen to your body and know when to stop. Mine was telling me that I’d done enough, and so after stopping off at the butchers on the way home to pick up sausages for lunch, I got home and ran myself a nice hot bath! Its not often I actually have a bath, as we’re on a water meter, so we both always have showers, but sometimes you just need a good, long, hot soak!

Once we’d got lunch out of the way, we decided to get a bit of fresh air and head out to the park for a walk and to give Olivia a go on the swings, as she loves them so much, just like her mommy did when she was little…


Oh apparently mommy STILL does love the swings!


Well, this post totally wasn’t what I intended to talk about, but I’ll save that for another day! Its now bed time, and I’d promised myself I’d get to bed at a sensible time. I need to get some rest to try and fight off these germs that my darling daughter has so kindly passed on, bless her! It’s been a lovely weekend though, spent with my two favourite ladies, and just goes to remind me how lucky I am. Its just the simple things that keep me happy, and just those very simple things that so many miss out on. I have a job, a house, a beautiful wife and an amazing daughter that has become the centre of my world, and if I believed in a God I’d be thanking him every day for these simple things!


Right then Monday morning, bring it on and give me your worst!!!

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