I am feeling much more positive today, even though it was a late night last night that I really didn’t need, I have still been feeling more like my old self. I definitely think that finally working out why I have been feeling a bit down has actually helped me get over it, when I wrongly thought that it was just me pushing myself too much, and not having enough down time.
I picked today’s photo as we now have a new phase with Olivia where she is totally unsupported in the bath! I do miss those days of filling up her baby bath and washing her in the living room, but she continues to grow and there appears to be no way of stopping it! Guess we just have to accept it!
In the news yet again today has been Tesco and their diabolical financial shambles, a company that appears not only to be having troubles, but literally nosediving in flames! It’s had some impact on me as I used to work with them and invested in shares,mad well as being given free ones when I joined. I couldn’t touch them for five years, which expired this year, and the £1400 I was hoping to make out of it, that was always going to pay for a nice holiday, is now looking like I’d be expecting around just £500 if I was to cash them in. To say I’m gutted is an understatement. It’s the only chance of a holiday we stood to see for a while! If I ignore the shares side of it, the whole ordeal has made me laugh, as working for Tesco was a total nightmare, to see the mighty fall, knowing all the people who made my life a misery are now the ones starting to sweat a bit makes me feel a bit better about it all. It truly was an awful time working for such a giant, and the whole ethos of the company is all wrong. They make out what a friendly company they are, and how great it is to work there, but I can only liken it to how it must feel to be in prison, except with wages! The stress I was under on a daily basis was on another level, the expectations of what I should be achieving each day were ridiculous, I was just a number, no more, and totally expendable, and this was made very clear, on top of which the working hours went out of the window once you’d shown signs of wanting to progress in the company, promises were often empty, and you were only ever noticed when you did something wrong. I started my career off with boundless enthusiasm, but the company slowly beat it out of me until I was eventually a shadow of my former self with no passion left, and it was all I could do to turn up on time! In the last few months before I left the company, I would park my car up and take my time getting out as I could feel my stomach start to knot up as I eventually walked across the car park. Each time I’d hear my name on the tannoy I’d get a nauseous feeling wash over me in case I’d done something wrong again. I was tired of having just justify myself to people all the time. When the demands came in to work nights and unpaid Sunday’s I knew my time was up with Tesco, I was getting out one way or another, that much was for sure. I was tired of the bullying, I was tired of the politics, tired of my face not fitting, tired of working essentially the corporate hours of some office big shot for what was barely minimum wage, I was tired of being given 12 hours worth of work for a 9 hour shift (where I should have only been working 7.5hrs once I’d taken breaks out!), tired of not being able to trust anyone around me who would happily see me suffer to aid their own progression. It was no life, but that’s what it needed to be, if I was going to get anywhere I needed to live and breath Tesco… And I just couldn’t do it. I’d seen how they would track people down and sack them for any number of small reasons just because they didn’t like them. I knew they’d come gunning for me one day! Getting out was the best thing I ever did, and my life has improved beyond measure since leaving, but now I can look back at them and think “this is what you get for being so greedy and malicious!”.
I’ve moved on and life is great now, but is just like to say… screw you, Tesco!