Being a good wedding guest


So i’ve done plenty of posts on here about previous weddings, and I want to do more posts on here about helping brides and grooms plan their weddings. One thing that gets over-looked is the guests, do you just turn up, hand over a card with a voucher inside and head for the bar? There are a few things to consider if you look down at your doormat and find that a wedding invitation has been sent to you!

These aren’t put in any kind of order of importance, but they are all equally important:

Be on time.
It sounds simple and obvious, but there is rarely a good reason to be late, and only the bride has that privilege on her wedding day. Turning up at the same time as the bride or following her down the aisle is definitely not cool!

Make an effort.
The couple have spent thousands on this day and have been planning it for at the very least a year, more likely two! When thinking of who they wanted to share their day with them, they invited you, so why not return the compliment. Trainers have no place on a day like this. You’d be surprised at what people think they can get away with.

Sing
AT least have a go! They’re only hymns, no-one is judging you, it’s not X Factor, just let go and make the couple feel like everyone is having a fantastic day and are happy to take part. Show a bit of support, the couple have enough to worry about without a silent church!

Don’t take photos during the ceremony.
Most vicars or priests aren’t thrilled about the idea of cameras clicking and flashes going off during the vows, and have already given the professional photographer his orders for the service. If he isn’t allowed to take any, don’t make the vicar cross and ruin it for the couple! You have all day to take photos afterwards!

Dance
An empty dance floor is a sad dance floor. Cheesy music and weddings go hand in hand. No-one is asking you to be John Travolta, but it can’t hurt to have a go! Go on, give the couple a bit of support!

Crying Children
Not a huge amount you can do about this, they happy at every wedding and most couples expect it. If you think your child is likely to cry though, why not take a few toys along? There is often a small area at the back of the church for kids to play, and it means you then don’t have to completely leave the church and miss all the service!

Drink sensibly
Wedding receptions and drinking go hand in hand, its the biggest party of a couples life together, so why not. Just remember, its not your party, its theirs. Stop if you’ve had enough, and don’t forget to drink some water before bed, your head will thank you for it in the morning.

Turn off your phone
Easy to forget, I grant you, but it takes a second and guarantees you won’t have the entire congregation staring at you. I was at one wedding where a guest not only left her phone on, but answered it while the service was actually going on!

Extra guests
Your invite will have quite clearly stated if you are allowed to bring a guest or not. If it doesn’t, then don’t! Weddings are ridiculously expensive and often filled up to the legal capacity that a fire officer has allowed the room to hold. If you haven’t been told to bring a guest, its usually for a reason. Brides also don’t like calls from guests asking if they can bring one more, it makes them feel awkward, especially if everyone does it and they have to keep saying no!

Gifts
If you have been invited, said yes, but then find you can’t make it, send a gift anyway. You don’t have to take it to the reception, the couple probably wouldn’t want it there anyway, its more stuff for them to take home. Simply post it, or visit the couple a week or so before the wedding and give it to them then. You can always wait until after, traditionally you have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift!

RSVP
You may put the invitation on the side and decide to post it off another day, but don’t forget that the couple are basing a lot of their meals and finances for the day on who will be there. If you plan to go, or even if you can’t make it, do make sure you let the couple know as soon as possible!

First dance
Let the couple finish this before you jump up, its the last formality of the day for them. So hang on unless they or the dj invites you.

Speeches
They may be long, they may be a bit dull, the best man may not be funny, but let them finish and don’t heckle them. Often the people giving speeches will have been dreading this moment for months and probably haven’t eaten much of their dinner thinking about it. Be kind!

Confetti
Yes! Bring it! Confetti is cool and not enough people bring it now. This tradition is not ready to die out yet and the couple LOVE the confetti shots in their album. Do remember not to stand in front of the photographer though, he needs to capture this moment, and no matter how expensive his camera is, its not x-ray!

The Photographer
Naturally i’d have something to say on this, but quite simply don’t get in their way. They are being paid by the couple to be there and get all the shots they can that the couple will treasure for most probably the rest of their lives. Having your head in front of the couple while they kiss will not win you brownie points! Sometimes the photographer only gets one chance at a photo, whereas you will get several and can always take a shot when the photographer has finished anyway!

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